Nestled high in the mountains of Guerrero, Mexico, surrounded by crumbling stone fences and optimistic goats, lies Valle Encantado — a village so proud of its alleged paranormal portal that they built a souvenir shack and two taco stands next to it before anyone could even prove it existed.
According to local legend, a “doorway to another dimension” appears during the full moon at the edge of town, glowing softly between two ancient oak trees.
It’s said that those who step through it are forever changed — assuming, of course, they can find it, and assuming they don’t trip over the uneven gravel paths and break an ankle first.
Naturally, I signed up for the Full Moon Portal Experience Package: a guided night hike, a ceremonial blessing with sacred herbs (or possibly just regular oregano), and, of course, a chance to witness the portal itself — all for the low price of $129, plus tip.
Our group assembled just before dusk, a dozen would-be interdimensional travelers clutching flashlights and wearing expressions that ranged from hopeful to deeply gullible.
Our guide, a man named Javier wearing a poncho and a Bluetooth earpiece, led us up a winding trail while reciting the legend of the portal in the same tone most people reserve for reading parking instructions.
At the designated “sacred site” — a patch of grass surrounded by three crooked fence posts — we were instructed to sit quietly and “open our inner sight.”
The moon rose. The wind whispered. Something howled in the distance, which Javier assured us was “the spirits gathering” but which sounded suspiciously like a goat with a sinus infection.
We waited.
And waited.
And waited.
No portal opened. No glow emerged. No dimensional doorway appeared to whisk us off to higher planes of existence — unless the higher plane was a mild case of hypothermia setting in around my ankles.
Eventually, Javier solemnly declared that “the portal must have chosen not to reveal itself tonight,” collected his tip money, and headed back toward town at a pace that suggested he had somewhere much better to be.
Ultimately, iIf Valle Encantado really does hold a gateway to another dimension, it’s one where patience goes to die and tourists leave a little dumber and a lot poorer.
If you go, bring hiking boots, a flashlight, and a firm grip on your expectations.