If there’s one thing guaranteed to make me break out in a full-body rash of secondhand embarrassment, it’s the enduring, relentless, utterly unkillable myth of the Curse of King Tutankhamun’s Tomb. Ninety-nine years after Howard Carter cracked open a Pharaoh’s dusty front door, we are still being subjected to whispered campfire stories about vengeful ancient … Read more
Of all the absurd stories humanity clings to, few are more impressively self-indulgent than alien abductions. Apparently, creatures capable of interstellar travel — who have cracked faster-than-light propulsion, quantum physics, and advanced medicine — are also deeply interested in kidnapping random Americans, probing them awkwardly, wiping their memories with the finesse of a bad stage … Read more
There’s nothing quite as inspiring — or insulting — as the ancient astronaut theory: the belief that early civilizations could not possibly have built pyramids, temples, or intricate road systems without the intervention of extraterrestrial babysitters. The premise, for those unfamiliar: aliens visited Earth thousands of years ago, uplifted our ancestors, taught them how to … Read more
At some point in history, someone looked at a calendar, panicked, and decided numbers weren’t just useful for counting goats and debts — they were mystical. In that instant, numerology was born. Numerology: the belief that your destiny can be uncovered by assigning magical significance to basic arithmetic. The premise is laughably simple: take your … Read more
Remote viewing is what happens when you take the ancient art of guessing and slap a government grant on it. It’s the mystical claim that certain gifted individuals can see distant locations, hidden objects, or secret events simply by concentrating really, really hard. In other words: psychic tourism, without leaving the couch. At its peak, … Read more
Aura photography is the perfect scam: expensive, scientific-looking, and so devoid of actual science it might as well come bundled with a free tin-foil hat. The idea is simple — and by simple, I mean insultingly stupid. You sit for a portrait while a “special” camera captures the invisible cloud of energy allegedly radiating from … Read more
Lucid dreaming — the art of realizing you’re dreaming and allegedly controlling the action — is one of those concepts that sounds profound until you realize it mainly involves a lot of yelling “Fly!” and waking up disappointed. Naturally, it’s been monetized. Welcome to lucid dreaming retreats — weekend getaways where you pay hundreds of … Read more
Somewhere between the greeting cards and the off-brand aspirin, the Stillwater Bluff Pharmacy hides its claim to fame: the “Haunted Soda Fountain Stool.” According to the laminated sign taped to the counter with yellowing Scotch tape, this particular red vinyl seat has been “the site of unexplained movements” since 1957. Unexplained movements, mind you, that … Read more
You can measure the collective desperation of a town by the quality of its wishing well. In the case of Whispering Falls, that quality falls somewhere between “don’t drink the water” and “please update your tetanus booster.” The Legendary Wishing Well of Whispering Falls is tucked between a vape shop and a taxidermy studio. A … Read more
Look, I know what you’re expecting. You’re expecting me to mock Miss Cleo. You’re expecting me to tear apart the late-night infomercials, the cartoon Jamaican accent, the psychic hotline scandal, the lawsuits, the whole gloriously ridiculous circus of it. But you’re wrong. Dead wrong. Because I believe Miss Cleo was the real deal. And no, … Read more