There are few places on Earth more depressing than an abandoned asylum. But leave it to the entrepreneurs of the paranormal tourist industry to take that raw, industrial-strength sadness, slap on some discount Halloween decorations, jack up the price tag, and call it a “VIP overnight experience.” That’s how I found myself at Ashwood Institute … Read more
There are many ways to suffer for one’s craft. Some men trek through the Amazon. Some freeze in Antarctic tundra. I, however, took on an assignment far more harrowing: spending the night aboard the HMS Perseverance, a rotting, listing corpse of a ship whose greatest supernatural feat to date is continuing to pass safety inspections … Read more
Ashwell, Massachusetts is the kind of town that smells like autumn year-round and has never quite gotten over the fact that the witch trials happened somewhere else. It’s beautiful, brooding, and deeply committed to the idea that every creaky staircase is a portal to another dimension. Which brings us to the Ashwell Museum of Paranormal … Read more
If you could bottle vague hope, blurry photos, and economic desperation, you’d have Nessie: the most famous aquatic nonentity in modern history. The legend is simple: somewhere in the dark, cold depths of a Scottish lake, an ancient dinosaur-thing lurks — cleverly avoiding all sonar, underwater cameras, and credible witnesses for the better part of … Read more
If you’ve ever felt like you left your body during sleep, you’re not alone — you’re just easily impressed by dreams and gravity. According to the believers, astral projection is the ability to separate your soul (or “energy body,” if you’re allergic to theology) from your physical self and float around like a ghost with … Read more
Astrology is the art of blaming your personal failures on the cosmic movements of balls of gas millions of miles away. It’s the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card for people who refuse to accept that sometimes, Brenda, you’re just bad at picking men — it has nothing to do with Mercury’s “energy shifts.” At its core, astrology … Read more
There’s a special circle of intellectual hell reserved for those who still believe that the world is secretly run by shape-shifting, blood-drinking, dimension-hopping Lizard People. Not content with being confused by economics, governance, biology, or basic probability, these brave soldiers of stupidity have instead decided that every figure of authority — every politician, every monarch, … Read more
If you ever need proof that charisma beats accuracy, look no further than Jeane Dixon. For decades, she was America’s sweetheart psychic — doling out predictions with the confidence of a drunk gambler and about the same win rate. Dixon rose to fame after allegedly predicting the assassination of John F. Kennedy — except she … Read more
Sedona, Arizona is famous for three things: red rocks, overpriced smoothies, and people who think standing between two juniper trees will unlock the secrets of the universe. I was lured here by the promise of “powerful energy vortexes,” sites where the Earth’s energy supposedly swirls upward, charging your chakras, refreshing your soul, and—according to one … Read more
If you landed here expecting a kind word, gentle encouragement, or a safe space for your delicate feelings, keep clicking. We’re fresh out. My name is Thurston Mabeus Penwick III, and I have taken it upon myself — alone, apparently — to be the last, best line of defense between humanity and the rising tidal … Read more