There are museums you visit because they house the treasures of human civilization.
Then there are museums you visit because you made a series of bad life choices and now you’re standing under a flickering “OPEN” sign, questioning everything.
The Museum of Mystical Oddities is housed in a former discount mattress store. You can still see the faint outline of “SALE!” painted on the side of the building if the light hits it right.
It’s an unforgettable experience — mostly because you’ll spend the entire time wondering if tetanus is transmissible through air conditioning vents.
Inside, it’s lit like a horror movie filmed entirely on an aging Nokia flip phone.
The displays wobble between the laughable and the aggressively sad: a cracked mirror allegedly “possessed by a Victorian spirit”; a child’s wooden rocking horse that “rocks by itself” — conveniently placed on a floor that tilts like a poorly rigged carnival game. A display case featuring “the world’s most haunted hairbrush,” resting solemnly on a velvet cushion like some kind of follicular holy relic.
Each item is accompanied by a handwritten sign full of ominous passive voice:
“Said to have been cursed.”
“Reportedly caused strange dreams.”
“Thought to emit unusual energies.”
Translation: “We bought this at a yard sale and hope you’re gullible enough to care.”
The crowning jewel of the museum is the Chamber of Shadows, an unventilated room filled with random furniture dimly lit by a flickering LED candle. You’re instructed to sit in the dark and “open yourself to the whispers of the beyond.”
What you actually experience is a mild claustrophobic panic and the faint smell of expired Febreze.
I spent an hour wandering the dusty hallways, dodging sagging shelves, questionable taxidermy, and strategically placed EMF detectors that beeped every time you got near a power strip.
The gift shop, of course, was three times the size of the exhibit space. You could buy haunted keychains, blessed incense cones, “spirit-sensing” flashlights, and a $22 DVD labeled “Real Paranormal Evidence: As Seen on Local News.”
Final thought: if you’re looking for real mystery, marvel at how a museum with a $3 entry fee still managed to leave you feeling overcharged.
And if you feel a “presence” brushing past you on the way out, don’t worry.
It’s probably just disappointment.