Connect the Dots
There’s a special kind of magic in humanity’s ability to find patterns where none exist. Some people look at a cloud and see a dog. Others look at a map and see divine pathways of mystical energy controlling the fate of mankind. The difference is that one of those people grows out of it by age six, and the other writes a book about ley lines.
The basic idea behind ley lines is childishly simple: pick ancient sites — Stonehenge, pyramids, ancient temples — draw a line connecting a few of them, and declare it proof that ancient civilizations had access to cosmic energy grids or some forgotten planet-spanning wisdom. Never mind the fact that if you put enough dots on any map, you can connect almost anything in straight lines. Never mind that cherry-picking locations is easier than finding a Bigfoot believer at a used bookstore clearance sale. If it feels mystical enough, it must be real, right?
Ley line enthusiasts will solemnly explain that these “lines of power” pulse with unknown energies, influencing spiritual awakenings, psychic phenomena, and probably your neighbor’s terrible feng shui choices. They’ll point to the fact that some famous monuments vaguely line up across continents, as if the only explanation is ancient aliens or prehistoric architects using laser pointers instead of, say, “we put stuff on hills because we wanted to see the enemy coming.”
The beauty of ley lines is that they’re unfalsifiable. If a straight line doesn’t quite fit, just fudge it a little. Add a few bonus “energetic sites” nobody’s heard of. Ignore all the other structures that don’t line up because they were inconveniently placed by people who didn’t realize they were supposed to be building on the magic grid.
It’s not even interesting conspiracy thinking — it’s just lazy. At least Flat Earthers have to invent physics. Ley line believers only need a ruler and an inability to understand statistics.
Final thought? If you really want to see mystical patterns in geography, here’s a better experiment: spill a bowl of spaghetti on a roadmap and draw conclusions. You’ll get just as many sacred energy intersections, and your theory will at least have some nutritional value.