There’s a special kind of magic in humanity’s ability to find patterns where none exist. Some people look at a cloud and see a dog. Others look at a map and see divine pathways of mystical energy controlling the fate of mankind. The difference is that one of those people grows out of it by … Read more
Somewhere along the line, fermented tea stopped being an accident best left in the back of your fridge and became a $2 billion industry fueled by Instagram wellness influencers, dubious health claims, and the willingness of otherwise sensible adults to drink liquids that smell like a locker room. Kombucha, for the blissfully uninitiated, is sweetened … Read more
If you’ve ever sat across from a psychic, a palm reader, a tarot card enthusiast, or anyone calling themselves a “spiritual intuitive” and thought, “Wow, they really understand me!” — congratulations. You’ve fallen for one of the oldest psychological parlor tricks in the book: the Barnum Effect. Named after the great showman and legendary huckster … Read more
Ghost photography — the noble art of aiming a poorly calibrated camera at thin air, misinterpreting every smudge, blur, and random dust mote as proof of life after death, and charging ten bucks a pop for the privilege. Clearly, nothing captures the triumphant mediocrity of human ambition quite like the notion that eternal souls — … Read more
If there’s a cheaper shortcut to pretending you have psychic abilities than swinging a rock on a string, I have yet to find it. The concept is simple enough: dangle a pendulum — usually a crystal, a ring, or whatever happened to be lying around in the back seat of your car — over a … Read more
The world, in its infinite descent into half-baked wishful thinking, has embraced energy healing like a drunk clings to the last stool at a bar at closing time. Somewhere along the line, we collectively decided that physics, biology, and chemistry—disciplines built painstakingly on centuries of blood, sweat, and Nobel prizes—were simply too stressful, and it … Read more
Somewhere in the misty foothills of questionably named Mystic Valley, you’ll find the Crystal Caverns Healing Grotto — a site proudly advertised as “a rare confluence of natural energies, sacred vibrations, and ancient cosmic alignments.” What it actually offers is a damp cave, a thinly veiled gift shop, and an excellent opportunity to question your … Read more
Nothing says “serious paranormal research” quite like a group of grown adults huddled in a dark basement, holding an $28 voice recorder from Amazon, desperately hoping to hear a dead guy say “hi.” Electronic Voice Phenomena — or EVPs, for those who like their pseudoscience to sound technical — are supposed to be ghostly voices … Read more
Palmistry — or chiromancy, if you’re feeling pretentious — is the ancient art of pretending that the tiny, random creases on your palm contain the secrets of your personality, your future, and possibly your past lives, if the reader is feeling ambitious and the client looks like a good tipper. According to palmists, the major lines … Read more
There’s something particularly grating about watching a suburban yoga instructor in $200 leggings stand in a circle of tourists, waving a smoldering bundle of sage like they’re warding off invisible mosquitos, and announcing that they’re “clearing negative energy.” Welcome to the world of modern smudging — where ancient spiritual practices are Xeroxed, mispronounced, stripped of … Read more