The self-help industry, having long since exhausted every scrap of credible advice, has now pivoted to its most laughable strategy yet: telling you that you can think your way into a mansion. Yes, according to the high priests and priestesses of “manifestation,” you are but a few positive affirmations away from casually acquiring beachfront property, … Read more
People used to look at the sky and chart the seasons. Now they look at the sky and blame Mercury for their bad haircut. Somewhere along the way, humanity decided it was far too exhausting to understand even the most basic facts about the universe, so we invented a shortcut: Sun Sign Astrology. Why bother … Read more
Past-life hypnosis sells itself as therapy — if therapy required less accountability, more incense, and a relaxing nap. The premise is simple: under hypnosis, you “recover” memories of your previous lives. These memories, conveniently, explain all your modern misfortunes — your fear of water (you drowned as a sailor), your commitment issues (you were a … Read more
Picture it: A lost temple hidden deep in the jungle. Moss-covered stones. Torches flickering against ancient walls. A lone adventurer — rugged, whip in hand, fedora at a rakish angle — uncovers a crystal skull resting on a pedestal, its surface gleaming with otherworldly light, humming with forgotten power. That’s the movie version. Now picture … Read more
Ah, the Bermuda Triangle — that soggy wedge of ocean where, according to enthusiasts of sloppy thinking everywhere, the laws of physics take a coffee break and planes vanish into thin air because “mystery.” The legend is simple: ships and planes disappear inside a roughly triangular region bounded by Miami, Bermuda, and Puerto Rico. Therefore, … Read more
Of all the ancient mysteries people cling to like life rafts in a sea of mediocrity, none is more stubbornly buoyant than the lost civilization of Atlantis. If you believe the breathless podcasts and badly animated documentaries, was technologically superior, spiritually enlightened, and somehow still forgot how to build boats that could float. The legend, … Read more
There’s something uniquely humbling about realizing that in an age where we can send robots to Mars, track hurricanes from space, map the molecular structure of proteins, and bounce lasers off retroreflectors on the Moon, there are still people — allegedly literate, allegedly breathing without assistance — who believe Earth is shaped like a cosmic … Read more
If there’s one thing more enduring than human stupidity, it’s the deep, desperate hope that someone, somewhere, has figured out how to escape it — preferably by building a machine out of junkyard parts and disappearing into the swirling folds of time. Enter time travel: the grand, glittering promise that somewhere out there, beyond the … Read more
There is, in this endlessly gullible world of ours, no shortage of ways to make yourself look like a prize fool, but none—none—compares to the unique spectacle of a grown adult stumbling around a field, clutching two bent pieces of wire like they’re about to divine the very secrets of the universe. Dowsing, for the … Read more
There are few things on this planet more impressive than Stonehenge. And there are even fewer things more embarrassing than the way people talk about it. A prehistoric ring of gigantic stones? Amazing. A feat of prehistoric engineering? Absolutely. Proof of extraterrestrial intervention, ancient power grids, or secret portals to other dimensions? Please. If anything, … Read more