There’s nothing quite like a grown adult claiming their stuffed toy is possessed by the malevolent spirit of a Victorian chimney sweep. It’s the kind of story that makes you question not just individual judgment, but the collective failure of entire educational systems. “Haunted” dolls have become an industry now — proudly displayed in grimy … Read more
Let’s be honest: ghost hunters are just cosplayers who got lost on their way to the paintball field. The “science” of ghost hunting boils down to this: turn off all the lights, wander around abandoned buildings in cargo pants, whisper “Did you hear that?” every six seconds, and record some static to call it a … Read more
Astrology is the art of blaming your personal failures on the cosmic movements of balls of gas millions of miles away. It’s the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card for people who refuse to accept that sometimes, Brenda, you’re just bad at picking men — it has nothing to do with Mercury’s “energy shifts.” At its core, astrology … Read more
If there’s a cheaper shortcut to pretending you have psychic abilities than swinging a rock on a string, I have yet to find it. The concept is simple enough: dangle a pendulum — usually a crystal, a ring, or whatever happened to be lying around in the back seat of your car — over a … Read more
Every town has its quirks. Greenfield, Georgia has the Blessed Gnome. According to the hand-painted sign propped up in Barb Jensen’s front yard (right next to a sun-bleached flamingo and a “God Bless America” wind spinner), this squat ceramic gnome has granted “over 400 wishes” since 2003. The ritual is simple: Rub the gnome’s nose, … Read more
Once upon a time, calling yourself a witch meant something. It meant clandestine gatherings, serious study, an uncomfortable familiarity with poison gardens, and a decent chance of being set on fire by your neighbors. It was not, I assure you, a lifestyle choice you arrived at after fifteen minutes on TikTok and a particularly inspiring … Read more
There are many ways to spend a weekend. You could take a nap. You could clean your gutters. You could alphabetize your spice rack. Or, if you hate yourself and have an extra $500 burning a hole in your pocket, you could attend something like the Ascension Gathering, a weekend festival devoted to raising your … Read more
Past-life hypnosis sells itself as therapy — if therapy required less accountability, more incense, and a relaxing nap. The premise is simple: under hypnosis, you “recover” memories of your previous lives. These memories, conveniently, explain all your modern misfortunes — your fear of water (you drowned as a sailor), your commitment issues (you were a … Read more
Tarot cards are beautiful. Gorgeously illustrated, richly symbolic, dripping with history. A deck of miniature works of art, each whispering vague, universal human experiences. And yet somewhere between admiring the artwork and flipping the final card, we decided that these painted rectangles could predict the future. Modern fortunetelling with tarot follows a simple formula: you … Read more
If childhood was full of invisible companions helping you navigate playground politics, adulthood offers spirit guides — invisible companions who apparently help you navigate life, taxes, bad Tinder dates, and questionable decisions made after two glasses of box wine. Spirit guides are described as angels, ancestors, totem animals, or “light beings,” standing ready to offer … Read more